7th Circle of Hell with Cartoon Characters

Heather has MOVED!

2011-10-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

hey guys and gals, since my LiveWriter has decided it is no longer compatible with blogspot I have decided to pack my toys and move to WordPress... I will always be able to be found if you just type in tenkids2dogs at WordPress even though I will no longer be calling my blog The 7the Circle of Hell With Cartoon Characters. Timing is everything as cartoons are fewer and further to come by here anymore save for my not so secret love for Adult Swim at night when everyone else is sleeping....I have chosen a broader title of "tenkids2dogs@home.com" as the blog will be about "kids, food, photographs and other fun stuff....not necessarily in that order."
So come on over, check out my new digs, leave me a note to let me know your still out there, spread the word and have fun... and as always...love, love and laugh...abundantly. <3 H
www.tenkids2dogs.wordpress.com

Garlic, Rosemary and Peppercorn Crusted Roast Beef.

2011-10-19T00:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight, at 6:30, ALL of my kids were at the table before dinner was even ready. A feat never before accomplished. At least not without horse tranquilizers and tasers. I had to blink. I had to look twice, no, three times. I pinched myself. They were all sitting there chatting, laughing, smiling like they actually had some semblance of affection for each other. There is just something about the image of eight kids, all sitting at the table, actually getting along that makes you think its time to see the eye doctor. Or a neurologist…

Not one argument over who sat where, no elbow jabs, no “who farted?” (well, not immediately anyway) and it was all because of a piece of meat. At 4pm, I took the raw roast and covered it in what Charlie called “green vomit”. “Just smell it Charlie” I said.….ooooooo! ahhhhhhh! yes…. thats it… thats the same sound TylerLee made when she came home from school at 2:30 and smelled it. The same noise Christie, TJs girlfriend made when she smelled it. That is the universal sound that one makes after smelling the pureed combination of salt, rosemary, garlic, peppercorns, parlsey and olive oil.

And despite its fetid, green and black lumpy look, the layers of flavor and aroma trapped inside had an almost Zen-like affect on my children when I started cooking it.

The ingredients are SO simple that if you don't have them at home they are all easily found at your local grocery store.

Considering the fact that I have to cook in bulk, the size of the roast and the amounts of the ingredients you will need will VASTLY change for anyone making this for a normal sized family. I made sure to make a conversion chart for you all! Note that YOU are all NORMAL…

Us..not so much….

Simply take all the ingredients (but the roast, duh…) and put them in the blender until it becomes a paste. Some of the peppercorns will still be whole. ( I do NOT recommend allowing teen brothers to dare younger brothers to eat the whole peppercorns at dinner, this does not end well. I promise you.) Add extra olive oil if needed to make the mixture wet enough.

I made the paste using the food processor in the a.m. and put it in a bowl in the fridge.

HINT: fresh, crusty bread dipped in this is not against the rules. Keep in mind, however, double dipping will get you verbally disemboweled by TylerLee if she catches you.

Take the paste and the roast out of the fridge prior to cooking and allow them to become room temperature first.

HOW TO COOK YOUR MEAT:

Sorry kids, we eat our meat rare so that is the only weight of meat vs. time in the oven that I can confirm its accuracy from personal experience. If you MUST ::sigh:: add 5mins per pound for medium. And ::dry heaves:: 10mins more per pound for well. (gharosssssssaroni!!)

The roast will raise about another 5 degrees while standing. No, it doesnt really stand. It actually settles, and gets all nummy and juicy, and because, as my kids will tell you, I’m nerd and a geek who loves to learn weird crap, I will tell you WHY we let our meat stand before we serve it…

Heat causes proteins to set. Meat = protein. Cooking = heat. The setting proteins shove all the juices to the center of the meat. We have all seen Gordon Ramsey poke his meat on tv. (gosh that sounds terribly inappropraite, hehe) But what he is doing is testing the “doneness” The firmer, the more done, the squishier, the rarer. The “standing” or “setting” once out of the oven allows the juices that were all pushed to the center, time to migrate BACK to the rest of the meat. The result... juicier, flavorful, more tender meat.

If anyone tries to serve you meat that has been cut right off the grill or out of the oven before it has had time to “stand”, stand up and tell them, in a British accent like Gordons “YOU FAT DONKEY! I WONT bleeping EAT THAT bleeping SWILL!” Then duck, because you will probably get hit.

But whatever you do, dont eat it. I will know. And I will find you. And I will bring all 8 kids and 9 dogs with me.

While the roast, slathered in the green paste of angels wings and babies wishes cooks in the oven, throw in some nice big baking taters. Scrub them good so you can eat the skins. “All the vitamins are in the skins!” Who knew, my mom was right! Steam some broccoli or other favorite veggie. Much to my chagrin, I had to cook 15lbs of potatoes. That is 20 big baking potatoes to be exact. Since my first born has decided to break my heart and turn from all things meat, I am forced try my best to meet my lawful obligation of providing him with sustenance with things like mushroom, potatoes, beans and pasta. But even Mr. Vegetarian (not Vegan, he cant go hard core, just yet…) was under the spell of the great green roast.

Before I even took one bite, half the roast was already gone, the kids were already asking for seconds and thirds. My pickiest eaters ate till they thought they were going to pop and all I kept hearing was "OMG, Mom! This is sooooo good!"
As I sat at the table, watching them pass plates around, dishes clattering, voices muffled with mouthfuls of roast beef, broccoli and baked potatoes I remember THIS is why Joe and I wanted to have a big family. Dinners just like this. Good ole' family sit-down dinners that seem to have faded into obscurity in the last few decades.

Dinner is
a big thing for us. My kids love a night of chicken nuggets and french fries just as much as the next kid, but we tend to be a little more old fashioned around here. Dinner is (usually) every night at 6pm. My kids believe in three things on their plate. A
protein, a vegetable and a starch and are adamant that corn "just can't be" a starch because they go SO well with mashed potatoes! Who has a 13 year old daughter that ASKS for meatloaf? I DO!
And as I was cooking in our tiny kitchen, all 8 kids were jammed in there with me listening to music, drawing on the new chalk board, peeking in the oven and talking about school, sports and life in general. I couldn't wait for Joe to get home and enjoy the atmosphere with me. The experts are right when they say that family dinners really bring people together and keep parents in touch with their kids... works pretty damn well for us.

Pick a family favorite, cook it together,
sit around the table and enjoy each other.

You know my motto:

live, love and laugh...abundantly!

And don't forget, no table setting is complete without a clear glass bowl full of miniature skull heads and hands!

Happy BLEEPIN’ New Year

2011-01-19T22:16:00.001-08:00

Well here we are …. 2011…. Another decade. Another calendar. Another chance to get it right….So many things have happened in 2010 that it boggles the mind how we fit it all in. But we managed and we all came out of it breathing and with a pulse. And as much as I gripe and bemoan about life here with this crazy bunch, I wouldn't change it for the world. TJ, Cody and TylerLee are all managing to delve into the mires of teen angst while remaining honor roll students. TJ played football for the FIRST time and jumped right onto the same team with kids that have been playing since they were in utero. And he only broke a few fingers! SCORE! Cody has managed to simultaneously entertain and piss his teachers off all while being their best student and getting straight As. At home he spends his waking hours playing Madden11 and hoarding about 57% of our kitchen plates, cups and silverware under his bed. TylerLee….. well, lets just say TylerLee is a learning experience for both Joe and I… she is the first girl in our family. And we are finding the process to be somewhat…. taxing on us emotionally. The animal kingdom just may have it right where as some species eat their young. Her teen years will be a testament to that, Im sure. But to be fair, TylerLee never gives us any problems other than just the sibling rivalry and expected moodiness. She gets straight A’s, all her teachers adore her. She has a heart of gold and the entire month that I spent in the hospital she ran this house. She is so very mature and responsible at such a young age. She leads a quiet, modest life in this loud, insane house.She is almost ALL her father, thankfully and minimal of her mother. Kylie… what can we say about Kylie. Great grades, bad eyes, great attitude, bad ears, its a balancing act with her. She keeps us on our toes. As far as filming an episode of Mystery Diagnosis, she was a freakin champ. the “hero shot” for the ending gives me chills every time i think of it. She is a testament to the saying “If He brings me to it, He will bring me thru it”. The information gathering process for the show was a lot more emotional for me then i expected it to be. I'm still in awe.. At all of us. How the hell did we manage to survive those first few years? I guess we did it on auto pilot. because if we stopped to think about it we never would have made it. And I appreciate Joe and the kids for allowing the process to invade our life this fall. I am indebted to them as most of them said “NO WAY!” when I told them we were asked to do it. But when I explained that my goal was three fold, they understood and agreed. (well..TJ never did but he knew it was that or a life time of no rides to the girlfriends house) A. I wanted to bring exposure to this orphaned disease that most Dr.s only came across once or twice in their education and careers. We need support, we need research. We need a cure. And to get that, we need to expose it for all it does to our families. Our lives. Our children. B. I wanted families with DBA to see Kylies journey. Her obstacles, her struggle. And see her success. To know its possible to live a happy, abundantly blessed life as a child and family that carries the letters DBA sewn into their hearts…If we can do it, so can they! C. and the most important, to me…I hope that a Dr., a neighbor, a parent, a spouse sees this story and says “Oh my God! That is what my child/spouse/loved one has! It has a name! there are Drs who specialize in it! WE ARE NOT ALONE!” If just one family gets their mystery diagnosed because of her story, then it was ALLLLL worth it. Next up, Ryan….oh brother love… He has ::Draft-saved 12/31/2010 12:25 PM ::

And this is where the end of 2010 and beginning of 2011 smashed into each other like a 12 year old crashing and burning on a sled at a high rate of speed. In fact… that's exactly what happened. That was where my journaling got cut off by the ringing of my phone and within a half hour I was in the ER with TylerLee getting x-rays on her ever swelling, almost pretty shade of purple, hand, By 4pm Joe was tearing about town shopping for last minute items and then home, furiously preparing the house and food and all its fixins for our annual bash while I brought home the casted and exhausted and temporarily nicknamed “the broken child”, TylerLee. And if we knew that New Years Eves activities are a mere hint of what the entire month of January was going to look like for us, Joe and I would have packed our bags and hitchhiked to Cuba before Snookie had a chance to roll out of her bedazzled New Years ball and right into oncoming traffic. Forget the fact that its illegal for Americans to visit Cuba or that neither one of us has a passport, because we are fully prepared to take up sanctuary at Guantanamo Bay as opposed to the war zone infirmary that this house has become in the last 19 days.

Less than three weeks into 2011 and we have had the “broken child” surgically repaired, out of state. TylerLee, Kylie and Jordyn are being evaluated for PVC’s (a cardiac rhythm irregularity that can require catheterization and ablation ), two are hooked up like hybrid cars to 30 day cardiac event monitors, two are scheduled for stress tests, Charlie had to be doped up and have his two front teeth manually yet gently yanked from his head thanks to an abscess, Joes had skin biopsies that received positive results on the kind of tests no one wants positives on, so come February he will undergo a series of Mohs surgeries and have a trial with some chemotherapy cream in hopes of avoiding more invasive treatments. And then there's, me… and that mythical. magical omentum. As much as I have read up on it, I am chagrined to admit I still have no friggin clue what it is, what it does, or what were gonna do with mine. As the days pass, I look at the shifting, lumpy, globular “thing” that has replaced what used to be my belly button and think of “The Blob”. It doesn't actually look like the blob, but say there was a “Littlest Pet Shop” pet blob. THATS what it would look like. Small, seemingly harmless, squishes when you poke it. Its my very own “Littlest Pet Blob”. Just ask Ryan and Kylie.. I let them poke it, Kylie nearly puked, Ryan thought it was the most awesome thing EVER! All that and its only the 19th of January. It cannot be any wonder why I choose to write the date as 20he11 every given chance, can it?

I have two theories on the cause of our current state of affairs thus far… Either A,) God is filling our “challenges to be met” quota early on as to leave the rest of the year free for unhindered joys and abundant blessings, or B.) The Myans really botched up their calendar and the rapture is upon us… JUST US! Either or are entirely possible, at the moment, its a crap shoot.

So, yeah… sorry my New Years update was about 3 weeks late, Sorry I never followed my thought process, to round up each childs year of successes and escapades in a few sentences, All laced with love and laughter, entwined in the chaos that is us Monica's and wrapped up nicely in a positive, uplifting cheer for to enjoy a happy new year. But alas, it was not meant to be. So instead, I will take the reality of all of the things that 20he11 has brought to us thus far and wear them like badges of honor. I will carry them in my pockets like hall passes or Dr.s excuse notes. So when I get caught going batshit, or breaking down into a puddle of blathering omentum, I can pull out all my reasons and lie them on the table. Literally and metaphorically.

Lets just hope Nancy Grace has a good sense of humor when I'm her lead story,,,,,,

Live, love and laugh, kids…. no matter what!

Sometimes, falling on your ass can be the best part of your day.

2010-12-27T13:55:00.001-08:00

Its two days after Chrsitmas, about 3pm. There is 3+ feet of snow out there and drifts over 5ft. And its freakin beautiful. Sure, it destroyed yet ANOTHER back deck gazebo, sure the digging was epic(for Joe, I stayed inside and cleaned the house), heck I will even agree that its a little inconvenient. But you cant deny that its beautiful. Its gorgeous. its… pure, white, frozen miracles, each one completely different from the next. And as I stood outside in my polka dotted jammie pants, my Rutgers hoodie, my electric lime green Uggs and my totally weird, hard to explain, ski hat, taking pictures of Jordie and Kasey Mae, I learned a little something i never realized before…

It all started in December 1999. We had just had a house fire an lost absolutely everything to smoke damage. The fire, although contained to our kitchen, caused such an abundance of smoke, that it crept into every nook and cranny of our house. Everything had to be tossed out. We were able to save very little. It was also while Kylie was home. With 24hour nursing, a treach, non stop medical appointments and still not yet properly diagnosed. It was a rough year to say the least.After the fire we moved into a Residence Inn about 10 miles from our house. TJ, Cody and Tyler Lee were little bits. 3 1/2, 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. And it snowed. Boy, did it snow. We went to Sports Authority and got them all their very first ski suits. And while we were there we saw these odd contraptions called “Butt slides”. They were little scooped plastic thingies with straps and clips. We weren't quite sure just how they worked, but we got them anyway. And what a great idea that was. You simply step into these things somewhat like a rock climbing harness, clip the strap and off you go. Walk up the hill, throw down onto your butt, and off you go sliding down the hill as if you had your own built in sled. Which, you actually do, Nothing to carry, complete and free movement. It is one of the most amazing inventions I have ever seen.

Now keep in mind this was in 1999, This is now 2010 and we STILL have 2 of the 3 we bought. I really need to find some more.

So, there i go, out in the snow, to take pictures of MiMi and Meatieballie butt sliding down the driveway. As they are falling on their butts and sliding down the hill my first instinct is to say, BE CAREFUL! DONT FALL ! But then i realized that was the whole point of this. to run, fall on your ass, and ride that wave of ice, snow and diabolical laughter as far as it can take you. They were having a BLAST. They were laughing and smiling. Cheeks rosey from the cold air, hair all mussed and icy, hats and jackets all snow-y, It all made since just that very moment. You can actually fall right on your butt and ENJOY IT! Sometimes in our life, things happen and we literally and proverbially fall on our ass. We sit there , in out doom and gloom and get all mopey about our current position in life.Whining about being at the bottom. But there were these two, falling down and enjoying the brief and tumultuous ride that followed. Its all about perspective. The had to trust that in falling down they were not going to be hurt, they had to believe that the ride was going to be fun. They had to know that a little bit of fear is a good thing. And they, in their 8 and 9 year old wisdom camouflaged as innocence, reminded me that sometimes the fall and the ride after, are actually a blessing and can be an enjoyment if you let it. So, as 2011 approaches I am prepared. We ALL KNOW that somewhere in this next year, I WILL fall and I will land right on my ass. But when I do, I will try and remember the girls, in the bright, sparkling sun, falling on their butts in peals

View Full Album

of laughter and giggling and grinning all the way down the hill to the bottom. Enjoying their fall all the way to the bottom, where they stand up, brush off, and trudge back up the hill with a smile on their face and a song in their heart, prepared to do it over and over again.

And thats EXACTLY what Im going to do!

So, as you get ready for the New Years, enjoy the falls and the hilkes back up the hill. The ride is TOTALLY worth it.

Live, love and laugh as much as possible EVERY DAY!

<3 H

Why drinking in the morning should be socially acceptable for people like me…..ok, just me.

2010-11-09T22:01:00.001-08:00

Its fairly well known around this house that Mom can, at times, have a “potty mouth”. Yes, Mom meaning me. I know..I know… ::gasp:: Heather! such language! Well.. there is one thing I know for sure…. God never sent anyone to hell for cussin’. So the situation this morning that made this post possible kinda took me off guard initially when it happened.

Set the stage:: Its about oh, I’d say, 8:45 in the morning. I am standing in the downstairs bathroom doing Kasey Mae’s hair. and if you have ever seen Kasey Mae get her hair brushed then you know that is wasn't going down too smoothly. Enter Ryan from the hallway.. wound like a top and not even remotely ready for school. I am directing him to A.) pack his lunch, B.) get his socks and shoes on and C.) go brush his teeth. Well, as mentioned in a recent Facebook post.. it seems what I think are simple requests, are actually children's code for some horrific, brutal, cataclysmic torture that causes the child the request is directed at, to temporarily loose their mind and go insane. For Ryan, this temporary insanity expressed itself as an absolute REFUSAL to go brush his teeth. Because, he is under the impression that he is the ONLY child I have that I demand this brutal practice of. Not 12 hours prior to this argument, did I have the exact SAME discussion upstairs in my bedroom. And again, as I told him the night before, I explained to him that he never sees me yelling at the other kids to brush their teeth because they either brush them without me having to tell them, or they go brush them as soon as i gently remind them the first time… not the 500th. Mind you, I am still trying to put Kasey's hair into pigtails and apparently every hair in her head contains about 650,000 pain receptors as she is grunting and squeaking like a hamster stuck in a running dryer. And as the argument with Ryan escalates, I admit, I just MIGHT have been getting a little rough with the comb and ponytail holders. So, Ryan keeps at me, Kasey is crying and somewhere in the distance I hear my last nerve snap like the pony holder I just broke in Kasey's hair.So, finally… I just yell… “SON OF A BITCH! JUST GO THE HELL UPSTAIRS AND BRUSH YOUR GOD DAMN TEETH! NOW!!!!!!!”

Well, I guess it was then that Ryan's last nerve snapped… and he SCREAMS back at me… “ IM CALLING THE POLICE!!!!! CHILD ABUSER!!!!!!”

Um… ::blink:: WHAT??????

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the look on Kasey's face was ALMOST as shocked as mine. But since by now she was doubled over in pain because I just yanked half of one of her very lopsided pigtails out of her head in a knee-jerk response to Ryan's outburst, I could no longer see her face in the bathroom mirror. I'm just betting it was a pretty good “OMG Ryan is SOOOOOOOOO dead” face. With possibly even a few tears thrown in for added drama.

I ask… ok.. I don't ask.. I YELL “WHAT???”

He says to me “ I'm going to call the POLICE , because your CURSING at your CHILD!!!”

And I actually started to laugh. “Oh REALLY? You want to call the police….because I cursed at you? Well … let me save them the trip… I will actually TAKE you to the police station, where you can then file the complaint in person. OK?”

He shouts back “YEAH! That is a good idea! “

By now, Kasey has ran to get everyone else in the house who just might happen to have NOT heard Ryan go batshit, so they can all witness together, what just may be Ryan's last words on this planet as a child who doesn't walk with a permanent limp.

“Fine Ryan, I’ll take you.. but before we go, you need to go get your socks and shoes on…and go upstairs and BRUSH YOUR F*&%ING TEETH!”

And he did….

and I drove him…

RIGHT TO SCHOOL!

So, yeah…. I have a potty mouth sometimes.. but I swear.. ITS ALL THEIR FAULT!!!!

how can such a sweet face cause me such grief???

Live long, love much and laugh…. OFTEN!

Its a Jersey Thing…. whatever the heck THAT means…..

2010-11-07T22:40:00.000-08:00

View Full Album

The summer is over… and yes, all the tourists are gone. And now is where the REAL folks from the Jersey Shore start to come out to play. We do not require massive amounts of alcohol to enjoy our beach. nor do we require deep fried “what ever you can find and shove in the fryer” as part of our Nutritional Pyramid. The real Jersey Shore folks are a timid bunch. We quietly stroll the beaches, smiling and nodding to each other, walking our dogs (you know a local, because they actually pick up their dogs crap) and truly enjoying the gorgeous landscape that stretches out before us. The gift of the what seems to be infinite ocean and its never ending rush of waves that pour out across the sand like a salty, bubbly seltzer. Friends power walk and discuss the most recent scandal hitting the local school board, seniors sit on benches and talk about who cheated at last weeks bingo or how much they had to pay to get their car fixed, AGAIN! And me, I walk silently with my earphones tucked in just one ear so I get the beauty of the music on my iPod AND the beauty of the music God gave me from the seagulls, rustling sedges and the crushing waves mere feet from where i stroll. In my hands I hold my camera… my constant. I resigned myself this particular day to NOT take pictures of my usual, unusual stuff… I thought about all the pictures i saw cheaply displayed on my television this summer. The glimpses of my beach that TMZ spread like honey across the internet. And I though… no one gets to see MY Seaside…. My boardwalk is just as awesome a site without the flashing lights,the cacophony of the of sun burnt, sleep deprived, over fed vacationers, the din of hundreds of teenagers making minimum wage, trying to lure oblivious visitors to play their game where “even if you loose you will win” because they will give you a prize no matter what! (suckers- give me a buck, I’ll give you the lint out of my pocket and have Charlie tell you a nock-nock joke, a far better prize then the pathetic stuffed animal the size of your appendix they give you as your prize, go ahead…Google how big an appendix is… its TINY and useless!). You don't have to see the orange haze of self tan spray that is the cast of The Jersey Shore approaching to know that something really awesome is just ahead of you. Yes, we ALL know that nothing says SUMMER like the sounds, tastes and smells of the boardwalk. But we Jersey Shore folks are not to be measured as a whole based on a few weeks of drinking and debauchery glamorized on a reality show that is ANYTHING but realistic. I was born in NJ… so was my husband. We, as a couple make the perfect storm of what NJ is.. Irish (me) and Italian (he)… (and now you understand why our kids are so dang gorgeous) We like Bruce, we like Bon Jovi..but I have NEVER worn animal print and not once has Joe ever announced to me that it was GTL time…. (I'm not all that sure that Joe even knows what the heck GTL even IS!) Neither one of us have ever gone “clubbing” and that whole “Its a Jersey thing!” is lost on us. We ARE Jersey…and have NO CLUE what it means…

SO, back to my pictures. I figured I would show you what the Jersey Shore looks like when all the hoopla and foolishness are packed up and long gone. because when the cameras stop filming and the lights go out, when the Frog Bog is closed and the Khors Soft Serve Custard doors are rolled down for the last time till next summer, we are still here…. We don't creep around in our deserted town like Gollum looking for his precious. In fact its almost like then end of the movie 2012 and all the people gather by the metal doors, All waiting for the gates to open up to the sunshine and fresh air of the new world that awaits them. Us locals, after months of being holed up at home because the traffic is brutal, beaches are packed ass to elbow and the restaurants are filled with loud obnoxious and usually drunk travelers, we take the first chance we get to head back out to “the boards” and enjoy the view. And what a view it is.

So don't believe everything you see on tv. Because sometimes the glamorized image isn't all that glamorous. Sometimes, when you pull back all the bling and spandex, wipe off all that mascera and self tan, things actually look better. Sure its fun… but that's what we have Halloween for. The rest of us Jersey folk know that the true Jersey is more about working hard, raising a family and enjoying your community. Which I do! IMMENSELY!

Live, love and laugh, kids…. it really makes a difference… <3

(oh, by the way, GTL means gym-tan-laundry…hahaha)

2010-08-04T17:46:00.000-07:00

well..gooooolllllly kids.. its been FOREVER! Yes, its me.. Im still alive despite it having been summer vacation ie: hell at my house.. And hell is an understatement. No lie, i swear that if you were to view the the East Coast of the United States from the space shuttle, NJ would look just like a peice of bacon. Well.. a peice of bacon with an oompa loompa on it. Thank you Snooki. This summer we have been super crazy. Kylie did decide to take a brief hiatus at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital for about 5 days in late May early June because of some severe neck pain.. to be on the safe side we had to rule out things like blood clots adn skeletal disorders. She still gets sore, but so far this summer she has had no complaints while at camp. Kylie has been staying with friends, The Willmans this summer so that she can attend an amazing camp in Tinton Falls. As much as we miss her, the opportunity for her is by far more important then how much I miss my little peanut. She only misses her puppy Kazoo anyway.... In fact, I made Kazoo a Facebook page so that she can keep in touch with her little buddy. We attended the DBA week of Camp SUnshine 2010 edition and barely survived the experience! No... honestly it was a humbling and blessed experience yet again. Our "families' have all grown and changed.. We added some new families and sadly have lost some as well. I always say, having DBA is like being a member of a club that no one wants to be a part of BUT membership does have its priveledges.... and meeting these folks is definately one of those priveledges. I have to skedaddle, but I PROMISE i will be back sooner arather then later to update everyone on the joys of being home all summer with 8 kids, 8 dogs and a rabbit. I know.. I know ... your all jealous, right?
Love you all!

140 Miles To A Cure!

2010-06-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

all right kids.... you know i never ask for ANYTHING.. but this?? i will beg for... Please help secure Kylies future by helping fund the research that has already saved her life MANY times over. Support Joe Creiler. Support Kylie..Support all the families that will someday hear "Your child has DBA".....
anmd yes, i promise to update soon.. its just been impossible for me to find time to sit and write ! Believe you me, its more frustrating for ME then YOU! Its MY therapy!
(and yes..you ALL know how desparately I need therapy! )

Dear DBA Families and Friends, Many times throughout our DBA journey, our lives intertwine with amazing people… sometimes heroes. It is our pleasure to introduce you to a true DBA hero. Joe Crelier from Albuquerque, NM is a regular blood donor, who recently learned about DBA. Joe was so touched by our families that he has decided to go the extra 140.6 miles for us!! In honor of our patients and families, Joe will be participating in the Janus Charity Challenge in. Our “Ironman” will swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles and run 26.2 miles, dedicating each step to our DBA families. Joe sets his ambitions high and he has also set a goal of raising $100,000.00 for the Diamond Blackfan Anemia Foundation to continue our mission of supporting our families and funding important DBA research. We have been amazed and truly humbled by Joe’s generosity, determination, kindness, and concern. We are reaching out for your assistance. Help support Joe in his selfless and inspiring feat. Please visit our website http://www.DBAFoundation.org/ for a link to Joe’s page, or access it directly at http://januscharitychallenge.kintera.org/cda10/dbaf. Donations can be made through our website, Joe’s page, or by mailing a check directly to the DBAF. Please indicate that your donation is in support of Joe. Please pass this information on to your families and friends and be a part of this remarkable accomplishment. Joe will be training hard for the next nine months and I ask that you help to keep him motivated and inspired. Let’s show him the DBA community around the world appreciates his hard work!

2010-01-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

um..last post ..JULY!? yep..thats right.. JULY! I know, i know... that was one hell of a potty break. Well.. my apologies.. Apparently my gallblader and stomach lining did not feel like making nicy nice with me and went on a revolt. After a week in the hospital in August, i was on an 8 week mission to heal my ulcers and break my misbehaving gallbladder like a Wild Pony. So..count.. End of August.. add 8 weeks and that brings us to......November and Decemner. OMG....Thats right! its the holidays again and what does that mean for us Monicas? CHAOS! DRAMA! TEARS AND ANXIETY!!! Next week, we will explore the realm of transcendental meditation just to get a break for FIVE FREAKIN MINUTES! But first , I digress, go back to August when I ended up in the hospital with a plethora of bleeding ulcers and a sludgy gall bladder. Well.. word on the street is that I had some weird bile duct syndrome and the flaps on the bile ducts valves weren't listening when my brain would scream "OPEN THE FLOOD GATE!!!SEND IN THE BILE! DIGEST THAT FOOD!" So my gallbladder would swell up with bile and hurt like a mother father. While in the hospital my GB was functioning at a mere 23%..anything below 35% and they deem it "organa non grata" and banish it to the nearest medical incinerator. BUT..since I had a bounty of ulcers, that could have been contributing to the failure they gave me 8 weeks to heal up and get my bile ducts in order..Well, 8 weeks came and went...and after a scope that showed I was healed from the ulcers I had a Nuclear Function Study of my purdy lil gallbladder and dangfalbbit it seems I'm STILL no good at tests. The shot me with a chemical that made my brain think I was eating greasy, fatty food, like Wendy's or McDonald's.Then I got the nuclear stuff that made my gallbladder show up.. well it was SUPPOSED to show up...It almost didn't!And I don't mean stage fright. It was functioning so slowly they almost thought they did not give my the right radioactive toxic waste in my veins. Then in the last 10 mins, there it was.. and OMG.. it was swollen...it was UGLY.. IT WAS KILLING ME! I said dang!!.. if I knew it was gonna hurt so much I would have just eaten the Wendy's fries and burger.. whatta jypp! All the pain, none of the pleasure.The next day the news came in. 16% functionality. Oh snap! When I fail .. I fail BIG TIME! So...where does that lead us? ::insert dramatic crescendo:: dun dun daaaaaaaa!!!!! SURGERY!!!!! Well.. no big thang. Gallbladder surgery these days are day stay! Wham bam, thank you ma'am! ha... riiiight.... I saw your eyebrows raise. Your thinking the same thing i was. "me? easy? day stay? uncomplicated? ppffftttttt...." Now... in the interim, the last few months i had an ovarian cyst that got a little unruly. The ultra sound showed a hemorrhagic cyst that was leaking fluid into my belly. I looked about 9 months pregnant. and was in constant pain. That coupled with the gall bladder and ulcers made for a very cranky mommy. Very. But since these things come and go, and considering the abuse my girly parts have taken, the presence of a cyst was not a suprise to anyone. After scheduling the surgery, I had a follow up ultrasound for the cyst. I complained it was getting bigger..not smaller..and to appease me, they said they would look again. Usually with the "natural cycle" these things diminish and reabsorb...ahem..usually.... SO.. I get the US and the tech instantly says HOLY CRAP! Yeah..that's what I thought... diminished my butt... It was GINORMOUS! So.. I get shuffled down hall to see the Dr. and I tell her "oh, by the way, on Tuesday I'm having an abdominal laproscopy to remove my gallbladder" She said..cool! we can take the cyst and probably the ovary because THIS isn't supposed to happen..these cysts should get smaller eventually not continue to grow insanely like this... yeah yeah..whatever... just get rid of it please. Calls were made, approvals granted and that's right! I get a BOGO surgery! buy one , get one) During all this time I was constantly reminding the Dr's that I was full of adhesions from 8 pregnancies, endometriosis and a hysterectomy. The surgeon said it was possible this surgery would be a lil more complicated..but still a piece of cake nonetheless....It was a piece of somethign all right.. and it sure wasent cake. And here is were i will take my break ... I'm home with a brutal sinus infection and fever and I need a nap. I will continue this story later! Happy Nappy, kids!

Yeah, Im THAT mom!

2009-07-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

OK.. I admit it. I’m THAT mom.. I am the mom who checks the calendar every day to see when school starts.. I’m the mom that prays multiple times a day for the strength to not scream “I QUIT”, climb a tree, go on strike and get featured by local papers as “Mom of many, snaps like twig, climbs tree.” I am the mom that asks “Is it September yet?” I am the moms that on the last day of school, when the teachers say “have a great summer!” I reply… “yeah… right.. like THAT’S gonna happen!” Because I know what lies ahead of me. And it scares me. SO here I am. Halfway thru the summer. And I am inundated by sandy beach towels, drippy bathing suits, and empty bottles of sunscreen and bug pray, pet clams in buckets hidden in bedrooms and no less than 47 cups in the sink at any given time. I don’t OWN 47 cup…yet there they are… All in my sink…I tried to be the mom that has her act together. I got each kid a cup, and with a sharpie, drew a picture that reflects each child’s personality with their name. I said.. THIS IS YOUR CUP! YOU LOOSE IT! YOU DEHYDRATE! Yeah, well, I don’t have to tell you how well that went…because this morning, there were 17 cups in the sink. Where the heck are they coming from? Do they have a secret cup factory under the house? Are they getting friends to throw them over the fence? Are they buying them online??? Inquiring moms want to know.
Not to mention, they are really getting on each other’s nerves. Here’s an example…The other day, I instructed my 12 year old, Cody to mop the floor in his room. It’s a small room… not much floor. Really, not THAT big a deal. Well, he absolutely positively lost his skull and apparently his sanity all in one fell swoop, and tells me that its “not his job”. Well… as soon as he said THAT.. it DID become HIS job! And ever the opportunistic not-so-little neanderthal TJ, the 13 year old, decides that he needs to tweak Cody as he mops and rants. Now, this is where the story gets a little blurry. Somehow… who knows for real but Cody and God, the extinguisher that had been in their room for YEARS was banged against the door (im sure a little posturing was going on here in an attempt to scare off TJ) and it went off… This is what I heard, from my room down the hall…Cody-”this is nuts, why do I have to mop, its not MY job” (as well as various 12 year old euphemisms I choose not to repeat in this forum) TJ, who is peeking around the wall from the stairwell “squeak squeak squawk squawk”(he likes to make irritating noises that resemble that of a chipmunk) Cody yells at him to shut up, TJ continues more. Cody yells, TJ squeaks.. more yelling, more squeaking…then I heard… BANG! WOOOSSSHHHHHHH…. Followed by screaming and “OMG!” then the sounds of bed creaking as if someone jumped on it ….. then bang!(apparently he ran for the door but couldn’t see thru the dust and ran right into the shut door) There was a bit of a commotion and rustling and TJ comes running down the hall to my room followed by Cody with THE most HORRIFIED look on his face EVER.. and a fairly thick coating of yellow dust as well. Before I can even process what has just happened, Cody is handing over his phone as punishment and babbling about how he was wrong, and made a poor choice, etc. etc. etc. So, in an attempt to properly evaluate the situation (and document it with photographs for any further reference) the three of us went to their room. Not one to miss the entertainment value of this moment, while still trying to remain the responsible adult, I excuse myself to my room where I disintegrate into muffled hysterical laughter.(a well as instant photo posting to my Mobile FaceBook page…lol) I composed myself and made my way back where I found the two of them standing in their room evaluating the damage. TJ picks up the extinguisher… look at it and says.. “I thought there was no air pressure in this thing” followed by WOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH…. Then Cody , screaming. Sigh…… And you wonder why I’m THAT mom???

my first look at the mess....

Codys footprints in the dust..
notice the broom... this was TJs "whoops" while Cody was TRYING to begin the clean up...

My Sisters Keeper... book or movie??

2009-07-22T07:22:00.000-07:00

I came across this Q on one of the "mom" sites I stalk... What a loaded question...for those of you who know me.. your thinking... ::gulp::... those who dont know me... here goes...I live this book... my daughter was born with Diamond Blacfan Anemia a rare genetic bone marrow failure disease. Requiring blood transfusions evern 2 weeks and was innundated with multiple birth defects.She needed a stem cell transplant to rid her of the transfusions that were bogging down her heart and organs with iron overload. The only way her doctors would transplant her was with a perfectly matched sibling. And cord blood stem cells if possible. We had already decided to have A LOT of kids, so we were confidant that eventually we would get her match, and we did... Jordie, the 8th of 10. We had tried to go the PIGD route. But at the time Kylies faulty gene was unknown and we were turned down, because although they could guarantee us with a baby the was a perfect match, they could not guarantee that the child would not have DBA as well since the cause of our daughters disease was still unknown. Since then her gene was discovered, RPL5, but I am no longer able to have kids and thankfully Jordie was concieved naturally and was her match. So in 03 we tried to transplant but Kylie went into liver failure after her first dose of busulphan because she had EVB and we did not know it. It was not untill 05 that drs had been able to create an experimental transplant regimine specifically suited to her livers needs. And on 05/05/05 Kylie recieved a new chance at life. But the egraftemnt initially failed and the doctors asked us to prepare for the need to harvest peripheral stem cells from our daughter Jordyn who was not yet three..Peripheral harvesting comes with its own set of risks... That was when we realised the moral dillema we were smack dab in the middle of. And how it would effect us forever...It was then that we realised that Kylies survival may depend solely on her sisters willingness to be her donor. Should Kylie need platelets? plasma?? more stem cells??? PART OF HER LIVER?? how do we risk one daughter for another??? Kylie was able to regain her engraftment without needing more stem cells from Jordyn, but we cant help but still feel like we are always waiting for the next shoe to drop. Kylies transplant was a "mini" and her disease COULD come back.. And it is a very real possibility that one day we may again have to look to Jordyn to save her sister. How do you make that choice?? This book was a true glimpse at what its like to be a family like ours. AS parents Joe and I have similar fears but different ideas as how to go about it. Our children all went thru hell with us, But, despite it all we have remained triumphant,, and stronger for it. I knew that I couldent go see this movie in public.. I am almost inclined to request a local theatre to allow a private viewing for me and a few parents I know in the same dilemma. I cried thru the whole book.. I couldent sit surrounded by strangers..and watch as my heart and souls greatest fears played out on the screen before me. I would feel more then naked.. When I heard the ending was changed. I was disgusted. and decided that I dont even want to see it. The emotional trauma and the physical exhaustion that comes with it is too much to end up aggrivated at the end! Not all stories have a happy ending.. and its a shame that they changed it.. the reality is bad things happen..the ending should have been left. (i wont spoil it for anyone) Maybe when it comes out in DVD..in the privacy of my home.. maybe.. till then.. my own life will suffice... sorry it was so long... its only half of what i REALLY wanted to say! lol..my daghter has a caringbridge page that we started in 03 to chronicle her journey..www.caringbridge.org/nj/kyliejae
this is Kylie on left and Jordie on the right, celebrating Kylies 4th "transplanniversary" on 5/5/08 Cinco De Mayo! OLE!

and for this year...05/05/09

SO...now that my mind is drifting back to all the "what if's" and "what is still ahead for her/us" I must bid you all farewell.. the kids are all dressing up "fancy" for a tea party and I have GOT to get pictures of THIS!!!

much love. H

A week of bennies on the beach and Im ready to start to a petition!

2009-07-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

**DISCLAIMER!**
Let me say this first. I am well aware that the vast majority of visitors or tourists are NOT “bennies”. I appreciate your patronage to our local establishments and am thrilled to meet visiting families that love our Shore Community just as much as we do. When I make jokes or poke fun at the bane of us shore living families summer, I am directing it at a SMALL portion of the folks that visit our area. You know, just as I do, what I am talking about. I see plenty of “tourists” with the same look if shock and horror on their faces as I have on mine.
****
Ahhh… whatta day last Friday was… nothing says welcome to the Jersey Shore like a beach full of cigarette butts and inappropriately dressed tourists! Nothing says tourist like a family, so pale, I felt compelled to call the Red Cross for an emergency blood transfusion. Nothing says BENNIE like a pale tourist family that uses Hefty garbage bags as beach bags for their belongings. But hey.. gotta give em credit, they were the new Hefty Tri-flex bags with cinch straps! The surely did not cheap out on the sunscreen OR the garbage bags. But the best thing of the day was not the pod of dolphins that gracefully cruised past us like Neptunes’ star ballerinas, or the amazing display of army helicopters that made me feel not only safe and sound, proud to be an American. No, what made today amazing was the gentleman behind us who lie on his blanket for HOURS, yes, HOURS, playing his recorder. No. Seriously. I don’t even exaggerate. I wish it was a big fat hairy lie just to get a few laughs. But… like the rest of my stories…this shameful site was true. Long gone are the days when families went to the beach with sand toys, a beach ball, an umbrella, and a cooler full of sandwiches. Today, the lifeguards WILL have you shackled and removed from the beach for bringing a beach ball, and if its windy and you have an umbrella.. you WILL be presented with a Class Action Lawsuit by all the beach goers in a 100 ft radius. All those gale force winds and umbrella impalements really put a damper on the whole shade thing… We slather out kids in sunscreen that is so thick it’s just project paste with a different label, then tell them to stand and let it dry so that the sand doesn’t stick to them and coat them like a breaded chicken nugget. Lunches no longer brought in a cooler (well, ours are, but we like to go against the grain) but are now overpriced, saturated in saturated fat, sodium enriched, boardwalk food that makes your butt grow just smelling it. Then there are the families that just grab a stack of pies (pizza pies) and sit on the beach eating burning hot, cheesy, tomato-y eventually sandy pizza in their jeans and sneakers. A perfect segue into my next diatribe. Really.. you go to the BEACH… yet you arrive in jeans and sneakers with NO BATHING SUIT! ??What the hell is THAT all about? Please.. Ladies… promise you… you DO NOT LOOK HOT swimming in some dudes tighty whities and a sports bra. Ack.. not even close. Nor to you look attractive when you stuff 15 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound casing. And men… please.. men… speedos are so… European. And being from Newark doesn’t make you European. It just makes you a bennie in a dumbass bathing suit. Please people. I don’t take my kids to the beach for impromptu anatomy lessons. Pretty bad when even your teenage BOY is grossed out by what he sees walking the boards. Nothing is left to the imagination anymore.. Girls wear anything that shows everything, and the lack of clothes they wear actually even proclaim just how easy they are! (as if the style itself doesn’t say that enough!)
Our next beach day did not fare much better…we lug all our crapola just far enough down that we aren’t shouting over the sounds and screams coming from the pier, then trudge towards the water’s edge.. we go just to the point where the tide, when it comes in, may or may not soak a few towels..and we set up our “perimeter”.. now.. its painfully obvious we are chock full of kids, unless you really think that Joe and I, by ourselves, need 8 towels, each hand stitched with a child’s nickname, draped out on the sand, a near audience of chairs, and more sand toys then Toys R Us. And as I have grown up on the shore, the typical “beach etiquette” as my friend Laura likes to call it, is, one does NOT plop down in front of a “family campus” that is obviously on the water’s edge to afford one a safe, clear view of their children. Well..Let me tell you…the trio we encountered failed to notice all the above.. But no one in a 10 blanket radius failed to notice this near translucent fella who dropped his cargos only to reveal his grey pinstriped Jockey bikini undies… yep.. dude stripped to his skivvies.. At least the chicks had bikinis.. but when this guy took nearly 20 mins to oil up one of the girls, I sent my kids to the water to look for sand sharks before my tremendously observant children started to ask me questions that even I don’t have the guts to answer! I’m assuming they were either deaf, or foreign because I was not so subtle in my horror and was quite vocal with neighboring parents at the dilemma we were facing.. Literally facing… when he started to pop the pimples on his hairy milk white legs, I nearly lost my lunch… I was ready to bribe Charlie and Ryan to collect jellyfish in a bucket and “accidentally” drop it on his well oiled neither regions. But, the fates saw the potential for disaster and sent a huge wave onto their blanket, so they moved up and to the right a little bit… where I was entertained to see a not so thrilled family make a HUGE issue about his undies… Oh well.. not my problem anymore…. Gotta love summer.. I’m telin ya..

Yesterday’s beach day was tremendous…gorgeous…perfect…we had a great wave pool form in front of us… Laura and I relaxed while the kids scooped up shells by the handful and presented them to us like stocking stuffers…then… again… the ENTIRE beach to choose from (and we were at a relatively un-packed beach) and a pair of women and their children set up their blanket and THREE umbrellas in front of us… So… I relocate all our stuff and make it abundantly clear that rude people never cease to amaze me and its no wonder there is a website called http://www.bennygohome.com/. The day continued to be great.. kids swam, Laura and I chit chatted….Charlie ate.. kids made sand castles, Charlie ate some more, kids swam some more… Charlie ate….ha…then, as the day was drawing to a close, the seagulls decided it was time to see whats for lunch. About 20 birds were stationed between our blanket and a neighbors as all the kids were tossing snacks. Think Nemo and the “mine, mine, mine, mine” scene… Then from behind us, a very unusually dressed (barely is more like it) woman, who I had been observing talking to her invisible friends most of the afternoon, starts shouting something about not wanting to watch Alfred Hitchcock movies and some other crazy stuff… So, eventually she calms down and stands behind us in some Ti Chi stance, smoking her cigarettes and gently rocking back and forth……. Today’s lesson kids… this is what happens when you miss your lithium dose. All in all the day was perfect. The typical “OMG she shouldn’t be wearing that” sightings were abundant, then the token “DID YOU SEE THAT?”s were fairly numerous. But, there were honestly more “Your friends and family must not really love you if they let you go out looking like that today” then normal. Im all for self confidence… and individuality….but… shoot… Some people need to start suing the companys that make mirrors for false advertising… I swear.. I am by no means judgmental, or uppity. I am definitely not perfect..but, hey.. I AM in shape.. round is a shape too yanno!!.. ha... I am however, respectful ... of my body and other peoples sanity…”Unleashing the fury” upon society is no way, shape or form, confidence.. just ignorance. And in most cases.. just plain rude. So… yeah.. If you come to the beach looking like an idiot or inappropriate.. I am gonna laugh. And if you look at me and laugh, that’s ok too… it’s what I’m here for…I know, that my life makes other people feel better about theirs! And I’m cool with that! So.. Please… Best way to know if you’re ready to go to the beach? Ask a kid.. they are honest.. painfully honest.. I know.. mine are honest with me .. ALL THE TIME! LOL…
Take care! Enjoy the summer and the beach! Just COVER UP! lol

A boy, a pair of scissors, and the truth....

2009-07-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

This is a story from back on 06 that my dad reminded me that i HAD to post... so... here it is...

The Snip and Snore Bandit....

Toms River, NJ- There has been a rash of incidents in the Monica household as of late. Seems late at night while visions of sugar plums are dancing through everyone’s heads, one devious head is stalking the innocents. Twice in recent weeks, poor, unsuspecting victims are awaking in the morning with less hair than they went to sleep with. Is this just the natural process of hair loss or something more sinister? Well, considering the victims are just 5 and 6, receding hairlines can definitely be ruled OUT. No, folks, this seems to be the work of a crafty and sinister mind, preying upon his victims while they sleep. Although sources close to the investigative team initially insisted there are no suspects yet, they have just revealed that evidence had been discovered under the bed sheets of one Mr. Charlie Monica. My source tells me that scissors with stray hair, still attached, matching those of the victims has been seized from Mr. Monica’s bedroom. Also beneath the Bob the Builder comforter, the lead detective discovered evidence that this tragedy may have been in the planning phase for a while. Practice cuts encompassed the vast majority of the bottom fitted sheet, previously undiscovered due to the location of the evidence, at the foot of the bed, concealed beneath blankets and sheets.
Mr. Monica was presented with this evidence but denied any involvement, rather, suggesting the first victim, a Mr. Ryan Monica, who lives in the same house and sleeps in the bunk just above our suspect, did the crime himself and then planted the evidence. The second victim, and hopefully the last, a Ms. Jordyn Monica, also a resident of the same house but sleeps in a room across and down the hall, cannot even be sure when the incident happened to her, due to the nature of her hair style. Only after her mother decided to place her hair in a bun for ballet practice one morning, did she notice the missing locks. Further investigation revealed blond curls within her bed sheets, but she cannot recollect any time that the suspect would have had access to her room, especially while she was sleeping. To reach Ms. Monica, Mr. Monica would have had to sneak from his room, enter Ms. Monica’s room, and without stumbling over the mass quantities of kitchen accessories strewn about Ms. Monica’s room, climb onto her top bunk, which at the time did not have the ladder assembled yet on the frameworks of the bed. For him to accomplish this without waking up Ms. Monica or her two roommates is confounding.
Further evidence found, seem to suggest that the attacks on these kids are just the final culmination of Mr. Monica’s strange fixation. Numerous My Little Ponies and even the families Brussels Griffon, Sprout seems to have fallen victim. A profiler from the MKE (Moms Know Everything) feels strongly that these were all a result of pent-up frustration, curiosity and mischief. The progression of the attacks leaves everyone hopeful that it was stopped just in time. The next obvious victim, following the floor plan of the upstairs, likely would have been a parental figure to Mr. Monica, which could have resulted in permanent damage to Mr. Monica’s future here on earth.
While getting ready to publish this story, Mr. Monica suddenly volunteered to give a statement to the MKE that he in fact was guilty. He apologized for his actions and offered his favorite matchbox cars to the victims as an apology. When asked why he finally confessed, Mr. Monica replied "God don't like liars".
His once furious parents are now overcome with sentiment and thrilled that their son, in fact, has a conscience and is learning that the truth will set you free!

Are they ALL yours????

2009-07-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

*just posted today to my momlogic.com blog that I am using to try and spread the word about this blog.*
No.. theyre not ::eye roll:: I just take random children out to restraunts, grocery stores, pediatricians office...etc.Yeah.. thats right.. I just collect kids wandering along the roadside, that just all happen to look EXACTLY like my husband or I and say "Hey, kid, let me take you to Ruby Tuesdays" or " Hey, kid... need a check up? Maybe some immunizations?" I also,just so happen to drive a 15 passenger Ford E-350 with surf racks. Perfect vehicle for a large family that lives on the Jersey Shore. But really...my real favorite is when people DO ask me "Are they ALL yours?" and I say "yes!" They say.. "NO THEY ARENT!" or " REEEEEALLLYY???" .So.. my respose? I throw my hands in the air and proclaim "Ya got me.!!.. Im lying!!... they arent all mine" and then walk away... Really. WHO LIES ABOUT THAT????? Yes, we have ten kids. And 5 dogs..and a rabbit but minus a fish recently. And can you believe this part?? WERE ACTUALLY MARRIED AND DID IT ON PURPOSE!!!! Although I must admit, the two eldest boys, 21 and 19, were wedding presents. I got them and a ferret named Stinky on my wedding day. Best wedding gifts EVER! But the next 8... the13,12,11,10,9,8,7,6 year olds.... all my fault...completely. Well.. I had SOME help... not much... but he did his part... lol

Bed Bugs! :gasp::

2009-07-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

So, here we go. I think this is it. We are ready for takeoff... let the blogging begin!!!! Goodnight, sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite! No, really.. dont let em bite. I hear its gross.. and itchy... and just in general nasty as all get out. Great.. now Im not gonna be able to sleep, thinking about bedbugs.... son of a.....

Who cares what color the damn walls are! (from May 09 before Joes surgery)

2009-07-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

Sigh… tonight comes with such….hesitancy. We are all silently nervous… vocally frustrated…emotions all mixed up and muddled. DO we cry? How do we remain positive? Is it ok to still smile? What a mess….even now, as all my chores lie undone…I feel nothing but OH CRAP…And to add to it all.. we get a certified letter from Codys school that if we don’t provide proof of his TDAP and Meningococcal shots.. he cant go back to school Monday. The SAME shots he had before he started the new school. The SAME shots I had proof of faxed over before school started in Sept. And that note is even in his file. Where it was faxed, what number, to whom and what day. Yet here we are… the WORST WEEK EVER for me to be running like chicken with my head cut off… and its got to get done TODAY.. because its not gonna happen Wed. Thur or Fri…Cody is in a panic because its his nature to panic. So… here I sit… waiting for Charlies bus and counting down the 20 mins the secretary told me to wait. I feel so anxious. The gloomy dreary rainy day, so apropos. Im sitting here… thinking.. whats next? Then I slap myself and say DON’T SAY THAT! CHRISTMAS, WOMAN! DON’T SAY THAT! Lol I keep staring at one toe.. the white from the French pedicure I gave myself is a little nicked and annoying me. Im sunburnt and itchy… my hair keeps getting stuck in my glasses..Im stuck with milk for my coffee.. but I guess after 27 cups, it really dosent matter. My heart is ready to jump out and unplug my coffee maker. And I find myself thinking… wow.. time flies.. while your worrying about the nicked French tip, the stupid shot form, the rouge hairs that drift despite my pink Yankees cap. While all these things happen… time passes… time you cant get back. For the last few weeks.. I painted.. like a psychotic person… every damn day. I was like.. Its gotta look nice.. hes gonna be stuck home.. recovering.. and I don’t want him thinking.. what a mess..lol.. yeah… like painting was really gonna help THAT. Please.. 8 kids… 5 dogs… a rabbit..a poor fish in his green jello. I could paint, spackle, redo floors for an infinity.. and the house will always be a mess.. And I for one have wasted too much time and energy stressing over it. I am a confessed slob.. a train wreck… a complete and utter tsunami of chaos. Like PigPen from the Peanuts… the dust cloud surrounds me. Add 8 kids more like me then anything into the mix, and there is no Farmers Almanac that can prepare you for the storm a brewin’ here. And put us all in a stressful situation… FORGET IT! So, in an attempt to please Joe and to distract myself… I threw myself into a spring clean up of biblical proportions… Almost 30, 55gal bags of clothes, shoes, sheets, towels, etc. that were packed and donated. New paint.. new landing carpet.. (still as of yet to be installed, but its propping my feet up nicely right now!) new tile hall…back deck all decked out in herbs Ive sprouted from seed… sun flowers that I have planted no less then 4 times at 40 seeds a pop that my Rambo-esque insane possessed squirrels rape and pillage despite all my squirrel avoidance contraptions. Hanging candles, fire pit, strawberries! All this time and effort into preparing.. and now… that the time is here…. Im thinking … its all looks nice. If you can see past the dust on the 20 pictures on my front hall wall,three skateboards in the hall, the 17 hundred scattered flip flops all over, the legos and Bakugons and books on the couch,empty hot cocoa mug on my mantle, TJs Monster cans displayed on his tv, 8.5 million cotton ball particles that the dogs have scattered thru my house because Tyler Lee left the bag on the floor in her room. You have to look past the life going on around to see the work I did. When all your supposed to do.. really is notice the life going on around you. Not what color the walls are.. or what kind of flooring…or what kind of light switch there is. Ignore the décor… and what I see is a slew of pictures of some very happy people! I see that I now I have three kids old enough to skateboard. I have kids that are reading on the couch at night sipping hot cocoa in my reading chair. My girls are old enough to do their own nail polish. Life is going on… regardless of my wall color.. time is passing, fast… whether it’s a mess or not…I should worry more about whats going on inside my house.. not what the inside of my house looks like….So… I am admitting here.. right now.. I was wrong.. a fresh coat of paint does freshen things up.. but… its not what makes my life more complete… its watchgin Ryan learn skate tricks from Josh.. Its watching Joe-Joe tell the boys that girlfriends are HIGHLY overrated, its watching Tyler Lee show the little girls how to file their nails properly. Eating brownies that Cody and Tyler Lee made with the little kids so daddy and I could talk alone without being harassed by small whiney children. Yes, its has changed. The flip flops have gotten a lot bigger. The meals I cook have too…Clothing stores have evolved from Baby Gap to Hollister and American Eagle. Playinig football with them now causes pain, not giggles and tickle piles in the grass… And no matter what color my living room is… its gonna keep going on and on and on.. Tomorrow may bring me to an entirely new crossroads in my life.. Things may change drastically.. they may only change temporarily.. who knows.. but.. my bedroom, despite its new Morning Fog color.. will still be filled with I LOVE YOU notes from Kasey Mae, laundry from everyone, books I keep trying to read and AA batteries hidden for Joes remote. Tomorrow… my life will go on… my husband will be minus a thyroid and some cancerous tumors, my dogs will chew a toy under my bed that I will have to climb under and clean up, Charlie will search out Joes protein bars and eat them all, Kasey and Tyler will fight, TJs hair will continue to grow despite my threats of a midnight head shave. All this things will go on.. and no one will notice what color the walls are when they do.Blessings to you all… much love-Heather

the great glue trap incident

2009-07-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

It was an early spring day at the Monica Household. Early morning.. and early spring.. chill in the air, rain without ice was just beginning to fall. Mother nature was just beginning to show us her promise for the upcoming season. New babies were being born all over this great green state. (garden state green, nuclear waste green, take your pick, either works) Baby birds, nestled warmly beneath they're mothers down, squirrels in their cans abound. Field mice made their way into my toasty warm garage, courtesy of faulty duct work. The mice and the heat. That week, I had discovered the tell tale peppering of mouse turds near the dogs empty food bowl. Quite aware of my husbands Perez Hilton like behavior in regards to rodents of all types, I decided to act fast to quell this potentially exponential population boon going on within the walls of a house that has already maxed out its occupancy allotment before we had even moved in. Afraid to use bromide chips because of Charlies apparent tapeworms and insatiable hunger, I chose the somewhat neanderthal "glue trap" option. And boy, I could never EVER have imagined what lie ahead of me as I stood in Target, looking at my choices....First, let me tell you.. everything BUT mice get stuck in these things...As i lie them out, I was sucked into them time and time again, a vortex, if you will, of polymer bonding, the likes of such that should not be legal here in this dimension. Sally Hansen waxing products resemble Elmers Glue when compared to this stuff. Looking back now, i realize that a more ill fated plan there never was, but for my own personal attempt at waxing. Whole other story ENTIRELY...Back to the glue traps. After I finally disperse them thru the house and garage, I go about my chores until i hear an odd " slap slap thump".. over and over.. I'm thinking... omg I caught one already? COOL! Now, who's gonna throw it out? Now, this flopping sound continued. Quite aggressively in fact. And I was thinking.. OMG.. its a RAT I bet. And a HUGE one at that... Then, the flopping got closer... and closer... and there as I came around the corner, coming from the game room, was Sally. Our fox terrier/chihuahua mix, sporting three traps.. one on a front paw, one on a back, and her nose... Seems the smell attracts simple minded dogs too. She had been in the garage with me, I guess and I had left the door opened a bit, so she was able to get into the house adorned in her new accoutrement's. Silly sally...I get the traps off, put them back, close AND LOCK the garage doors, and we all have a chuckle. Then ... the next day... oh, that fateful next day.. It was 6:30 am. I was sound asleep...when i was suddenly awoken by SCREAMING and POUNDING up the stairs... My bedroom door flies open and Cody, braying like a donkey, DIVES under my covers, immediately followed by TJ, double the size of Cody ad twice as loud too, RIPS the blankets off the bed. Then all the sudden I hear WHAP.. then ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I look... and I look again... and there.. Is Cody.. with a glue trap.. ON HIS HEAD!NOOOOO!!!!!! Oh man... God was with TJ that day. Cody is loosing his mind, and as my instincts are to hold him back from jumping on TJ adn making a sticky situation a bloody one as well, that primitive part of my brain told me DONT TOUCH THAT KID! Insanity ensued for a brief moment and the story, as it happened, began to unfold. TJ is slow in the morning. (like me) Cody, however, is not. (like Joe) In his annoyance, and an attempt to light a fire under TJs ass, Cody threatened him w. a glue trap he found behind the computer (still no clue as to HOW he found it or why he was back there) Cody jokingly waved it close to TJs hairy legs. TJ swatted at Cody, glue trap fell... sticky side down.. on TJs leg. TJ RIIIIPS off glue trap, and in his blinding pain, chases him full throttle thru the house to my bedroom where the" WHAP heard round the world" was then executed. So, there I am..not yet 7am... still dark out and I'm Googling "how to remove rodent glue trap from human hair" all while promising TJ that I was going to "drag him to church, and beat him in front of God." TJ took the bus to school that am. But I promised him, that if I couldn't get the trap out of Cody's hair without cutting it, I was shaving his head.. with a dull linoleum knife and lemon juice....And for those of you who know TJ, my emo child, my doom n gloom, my Eeyore, his hair is his pride and joy. Well.. FYI, olive oil works GREAT... Cody had shiny hair for about a week and barring being late for school, the entire fiasco ended peacefully.... TJ still has his hair... and I will NEVER buy glue traps.. EVER AGAIN...Thats my story.. and Im stickin to it. Pun intended!

call me Momalish

2009-07-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are. Yes, I did try to blog back in 06, but that plan fell thru like Octomoms neither regions. And no.. I don’t mean me! I was preparing for my hysterectomy and thought… quite foolishly, that my recovery time would afford me voids in my day that would need to be filled and for me blogging was the perfect void filler. HA! Almost three full years later I think I wrote, what… 7 entries?MAX? Well, since then I have lived three years chock full of calamities and comedies, serendipitous moments as well as sympathetic ones…We have laughed .. we have cried..Kylie had a few scares, minimal compared to her past. We lost Joes dad, Sonny, or as the kids call PopPop New York to cancer. And then there was Joes trip down health issue highway, exit : Thyroid cancer. That one really threw us for a loop. In between each big drama, were little dramas, but in between the little dramas were always a whole lot of laughs. We got a few extra doggies and have expanded our family to five little fluffy cretins who never fail to warm our hearts with their unconditional love, and warm our pillows with their lazy butts. So, here I go. You all know about my Facebook page- username Tenkids2dogs, Kylies CaringBridge website at www.caringbridge.org/nj/kyliejae and my smattering of posts to livejournal.com- username tenkids2dogs . Kylies blog has gotten almost 188,000 hits. Yes. That’s right… one hundred and eighty eight THOUSAND hits! I am humbled and honored to have so many readers/friends/stalkers. But, as her transplant has remained engrafted for over 4 years now and her Diamond Blackfan Anemia has lulled us into a complacent “life is good” mood, I thought it would be best to separate my “writings” from her CaringBridge site. My blogging has evolved over the years. It started as a source of information for family and friends wondering about Kylies medical status. Like a gift from heaven, I learned that this journaling, blogging, whatever your preferred vernacular is, was THE BEST form a therapy for me … EVER. Nothing is more cathartic (to me) then to have THE WORST possible day.. EVER… and laugh about it. Then write about it. And share it with friends and strangers alike, and let them laugh at it too! I love to tell stories. My kids love to give me subjects. My friends laugh till they cry at my not-so-traditional view on life. Stuff like what I write about never happens to other people. And for people that don’t actually know me, one would assume that my stories were fictional. But… alas… much to my chagrin… they are true. And real. And usually involve me getting puked or pooped on by a kid and/or a dog. So, I hope you enjoy this. I hope you smile. Giggle.. Snicker.. snork..guffaw…whatever IT is that you do as a display of enjoyment or happiness…I hope, when you are with me.. that you do IT. Blessings all~H

Thank you for coming!

2009-07-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

What a blast we had this weekend! Our first annual "Family Favorites BBQ" (yeah, Im gonna make ya'll do it again next year!)The food is STILL overflowing in the fridge, the kids still reminiscing about dad getting sent ass over teakettle into the pool fully dressed. Joe made his famous pasta salad that he has named “Garbage Pail Pasta Salad~ cus its’ got so much stuff in it, you have to mix it in a garbage pail with a snow shovel!” My dad, Dawn, Joe, Luke, Lowell and Cody L. arrived first and that was when the “Your butt is goin’ in the pool whether you like it or not” trend began. TJ scooped up his yonger cousin Lowell( I joke, because he’s younger by 5 days) and deposited him directly into the pool before everyone had even made it out to the back deck. Next, was Karen and Dick, Hilary’s parents. Hilarys mom dominated the scene with her mélange of appetizers, veggie medley and cookie bars. In fact, I am enjoying a Carmelita at this very moment while Janelle’s zucchini casserole heats up in the oven for the kidlets. Dick arrived with Karen, a case of Heineken and his game face on. Ready to experience the Monica children, en masse on their own turf. Hilary had been at our house for a few days and was excellent company for me till after midnight the night before while I was baking, baking …baking. Mom M. came and spent some time despite her hesitancy to leave her little Marley Macey Mae home alone and we really appreciated it, the kids were so happy to see her. Her new puppy sure is keeping her busy! And bruised! Jenelle, Kerry, Kerry, Makayla and Conner came (and finally brought Tyler Lee home! Sheesh!) and Jen brought her tater salad, zucchini casserole and get this… the COOLEST THING EVER… Ice Cream Sandwich Cake! No lie! Ice Cream “sammiches” and fudge, smashed oreos and whipped cream and sprinkles in a aluminum dish. I cant stop telling people how freakin’ cool it was! (still is.. mmmmmm) Then came Bob and Momi and the toffee bars that I clung to like Gollum while whispering “my precious, my precious” as I gently caressed the clear plastic lid that protected my addiction from greedy paws and coveting eyes. Ever the generous hostess, I eventually resigned to sharing the bars with my guests. Although I am not alone in my obsession, I caught Jordyn trying to take and hide them no less then three times….And her three layer dip. Momi assembled it right in the kitchen before my very eyes… I felt like I was watching the Muppet Show and the Swedish Chef was preparing me a dish. Shredded cheese was flying everywhere, cans clanging, utensils clattering and out of the chaos came this hot, bubble, ooey goey dip served with the most awesome chips I ever ate! Gluten free too, which reminds me to get Kylies celiac studies finished. Then my mom arrived with the ribs! I thought poor Dick was going to suffer from malnourishment as he abstained from almost all the other goodies laid before him, in anticipation of my moms baby back morsels’ of Guinness Stout soaked goodness. Once the ribs arrived, all was right in the world. Jordie, Kylie, Kasey and Ashley were covered head to toe in sauce, so if the ratio of exposed skin to barbecue sauce were any indication to the quality and taste of the ribs, Bobby Flay better watch out! Because those girls were slathered in it like it was sunscreen! Which reminds me of poor Ashley and Kalaia getting drug around my house like Raggedy Anne dolls by Kasey Mae and Jordie Lynn.I love those little girls, what troopers. Mine aren’t used to having “littler” girls around to be big sisters to, and when I see them all together, snuggled on the couch ready to watch a movie, smothered in blankies and dogs, its like I had more kids like I wanted to after Charlie! TJ, Cody, Kerry, Lowell, Luke and Cody L. were busy beavers, conspiring to get as many unsuspecting partygoers into the pool as possible. They were a ready source of laughter and smarmy teen comments. A few sprinklings of our famous “drag you to church and beat you in front of God” moments as well but I think those moments are a requirement at that age. Despite their brains slowly turning into mush thanks to the influx testosterone, I think they all had great fun. Little Kerry was the hero of the day for his silent but deadly, sneak attack from behind on Joe while he was wrestling Cody L into the pool, yet again. I just happened to be focused and ready to capture the entire thing on camera, and have every intention on enlarging and printing out the one of Kerry, poised in his “crouching dragon, hidden nephew” stance while Joe is half engulfed in white water splashes, frozen in mid-air while nothing but Cody L’s lone foot is jutting out from beneath the surface. Classic! And all while this caveman grunting and exhibition of masculinity went on, the pre teen princesses, Tyler Lee and Makayla , sitting safely in a shady corner, looked on disapprovingly from over the tops of their Judy Blume books. Eye rolls and disgusted sighs were abundant as the girls, I mean, young ladies, watched gross brothers and icky cousins act “all stupid and stuff”. Charlie and Connor were so good and enjoying themselves immensely in the play yard, under the watchful eye of Mom/Aunt Jenelle and Dad/Uncle Kerry. Charlie ate until I thought he was going to explode, and Connor… well.. I did see him with some juice boxes! Then there was Kylie… ahhh Kylie… she is a kid in her own world. She ate, she swam, she flittered about listening to grownup talk, bossing littles around when she got the chance, ate some more, swam, then ate again. Did I mention she ate? I have a feeling that the majority of ribs eaten were by her. And tater chips… and veggie dip. Oh the veggie dip. Kylie was in nirvana. All her favorites centrally located on ONE table in HER backyard…” Praise Jesus! Sweet omnipotent, 5lb 6oz baby Jesus”….Mid-day brought us a sweet surprise, as Mrs. Memoli FINALLY came over with Angelica for a quick visit. So, no folks. She isn’t my imaginary friend. She is an actual real person who deserves MAJOR props because every year since she came to Cedar Grove School she has had a Monica child in her PM class. Not that the kid was the problem. The problem was what comes with the kid.. ME!!!! Actually, Laura and I are kindred spirits when it comes to kids and projects. I even promised her to help next year even though I don’t have any kids in kindergarten anymore! Dana, a service dept secretary from Lester Glenn and pre-med student hopeful, actually showed up! Even after experiencing us all in action a few weeks ago. She sat off to the side, chatting happily, all while inside I’m sure her thoughts wandered to birth control options verses celibacy. Possibly both just to be sure… The cutest thing that day was Charlie and Charlie… My dad (Charlie) sittin in the rocking chair when all the sudden little Charlie climbs in his lap and falls asleep. Awwwww….. All in all.. It was a great time. Sure there were moments, and yeah there was bloodshed. (And quite a lot of it, too.) I’m thinkin’ Cody L.s parents might wanna get him checked for the hemophilia gene…cuz that kid bled like a stuck pig on a high dose of heparin. But truly the day couldn’t have gone any better. We were surrounded by good friends and great family and the food.. oh the food. I am a true believer that the more love that goes into a dish, the better the flavor, and I ate some of the best food EVER this weekend, hands down! So thank you all for joining us, you filled our home and hearts with laughter and love and we are blessed to have so many amazing people a part of our life. Thank you, thank you, thank you…..We must do this again before summer ends and our sunkissed noses grow pale from the confines of our homes, before the verdant green trees shed their shade giving leaves, before all the evil, soul sucking bennies leave our town and give us back our roads and WaWas. Much love to you all… with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, I cant wait till next time! Love, Heather and Joe